How to Cheat and Not Get Caught
Overcoming the stress of infidelity.
One of my clients, a self-proclaimed ‘serial cheater,’ came to me for help.
He couldn’t cope with the stress of his inner conflict. He loved the thrill of sex and intimacy with other women.
But he felt sad and lonely as he became more disconnected from his partner.
This is a common story. There are many reasons why men cheat. Regardless of the reasons, it’s essential to ask yourself that all-important question:
Is it worth it?
Use this guide to:
- Uncover the hidden costs of cheating.
- Discover the real reason underlying your desire to cheat.
- Evaluate whether it’s worth the stress.
1.Why might you be asking the question, ‘How to cheat and not get caught’? Uncover the hidden costs of cheating.
Infidelity is risky business. Getting caught can have big consequences. You could lose your partner, you could lose your family, and you face the guilt of the pain that you’ve caused.
The impact of a discovered betrayal can be huge for both parties. As trust erodes, it emerges as one of the leading causes of relationship breakdowns.
A study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that a relationship breakdown can have a profound impact on a person. It can cause increased loneliness, anxiety, and depression. It may also reduce overall wellbeing.
It makes sense. Anyone wanting to have an affair would want to avoid getting caught. This can cause a huge amount of stress.
Getting caught cheating is not the only risk. There are also some emotional risks.
Inner conflict: A big impact can occur when our values clash with our behaviors.
I’ve seen this in my clients many times. Not only with infidelity but with any behavior that is in conflict with your being the person you want to be.
This type of inner conflict can cause internalized stress, anxiety, and even depression. Overthinking the pros and cons can be a huge weight.
So can the feeling of doing something wrong. It also hurts your self-esteem. You feel bad about yourself. This, in turn, affects other areas of your life.
Emotional disconnect: A big issue in my clients who are cheating is their secrecy. Keeping secrets is stressful. You fear getting caught. It can also lead to emotional distance. You end up feeling less for your partner, which makes the problem worse.
Reduced satisfaction: Emotional distancing isn’t the only factor that affects relationship satisfaction. ‘The grass is always greener’ thinking also has a big impact.
As Theodore Roosevelt famously said, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’ This type of thinking leaves us feeling like we are lacking something. It robs us of the ability to appreciate what we have and work on any issues.
It fails to accept the fact that no one or no situation is perfect and keeps us spinning in a negative spiral where nothing feels satisfying.
2: Discover the real reason behind your desire to cheat.
Do you get freaked out when you feel like you’re getting too close to someone? You might fear that your partner will abandon or reject you. Cheating can help avoid discomfort and gain some distance.
Or perhaps you struggle if you don’t get enough external validation. Attention from other women can help you feel better about yourself. Even if it’s temporary.
Maybe you are someone who loves the thrill of new sexual experiences. You get a high from the novelty and even the risk.
You might be feeling a lack of connection to your partner and don’t know how to address it. You find it overwhelming to express your true needs.
You might find that it’s easier to look for it elsewhere in someone to whom you have no commitment.
3: Evaluate whether it is worth the stress of trying to cheat and not get caught.
All the reasons above make a lot of sense. It’s important not to jump straight to blame and shame. Desires and fears drive us humans all the time.
You might notice that, in all those reasons, cheating only offers temporary relief. Most of my clients recognize that their actions don’t actually work long-term.
In fact, they often end up feeling worse about themselves and their relationships.
You might like to ask yourself what’s true for you. If you’ve cheated before, has it made you feel better about yourself or worse over time?
What if I told you there are better ways to meet your needs? That would bring more connection, confidence, and less stress. If I told you that you could have all those things and still have a fulfilling sex life, would you want it?
If you’ve answered yes to the above questions, then we should talk.
No need for therapy or endless coaching sessions. I combine psychology and neuroscience to help rewire your brain.
Get the relationship you want. Book your free call here.
I am a psychotherapist and men’s relationship coach. I have a Bachelor degree in Psychology and a Masters degree in Psychotherapy. In recent years I have focused my work on developing tools that combine neuroscience and psychology to provide an alternative to therapy. I’ve found this work particularly helpful to men experiencing relationship issues. Through these tools, I have been able to empower them to get the relationship that they want without the need for endless coaching or therapy sessions.
´Having worked with thirteen therapists, using the Rewire Tool with Jess is the only thing that has worked.´ Rob 50, happily married with two children.
If you want to be in a relationship that makes you happy, we should talk.
